Shadows of the past
by Miru-Meow
Summary: When Captain Raydor is sent to assist the NYPD with a difficult case, she has to face a dark secret from her past.


_**Shadows of the past**_

**Author's note: Heey guys. Many thanks to _themagicm_ for helping me with a few things. *hugs* Anyway, read it. Please :)) And tell me what you think :D**

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_It was a sunny day in the middle of March. The Central Park was still covered with snow, but it already started to melt. The woman pushed the stroller until she reached the nearest bank that wasn't covered with snow and sat down. She glanced at the baby in the stroller, who was no longer sleeping, but was regarding her with curious, green eyes._

"_You know, there's nothing more beautiful than Christmas in New York."_

_She forced a smile, but the look in her eyes told a whole different story. She had had a fight with her husband. Again. Apparently some big poker tournament in Vegas was more important than spending time with their three month old baby and other two kids. No, gambling has always been more important than their family. So she decided to take a little break from work and visit her aunt in New York. Working in Narcotics was hard and she couldn't even consider taking maternity leave because someone had to pay the bills and the debts, and the money Jackson earned were lost at gambling._

_Her train of thoughts was suddenly interrupted by a soft whimper._

"_What is it, baby girl?" She gently took the baby in her arms and let out a small chuckle when she felt the girl's fist grabbing a few strands of her hair and her small lips turning into a pout._

"_I wonder who you get that from?" She smiled and the baby smiled back, green orbs staring into equally green ones._

"_See? You're so much prettier like this. Now let's go before it gets dark and your auntie Sue scolds me for keeping you out in the cold for so long." She kissed her forehead and placed her back into the stroller._

_As they were nearing the exit of the park, the baby started to cry._

"_What is it, baby? Are you cold?" the woman asked, but before she could lift the baby in her arms she saw a man heading towards her. She heard him scream "You can't save her anymore"._

_Panic took over her. She wanted to scream, but she couldn't seem to find her voice. She wanted to run, she needed to run away in order to save her baby, but her legs didn't want to obey her. She searched for her gun in her purse, but it wasn't there._

_The man came closer until he was standing right in front of her._

"_You're never going to find her. Ever." he said while taking the screaming child, that was now in her arms, clutching at her jacket, and disappearing with a smug grin on his face._

"_NOOO!" she yelled and started to run towards the spot where the man was standing before he disappeared._

"_Melody! No! Not my Melody!"_

_Tears started streaming down her face and her whole body was shaking uncontrollably. He took her, and she couldn't do anything to stop him._

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Sharon shot up in bed, covered in sweat and breathing heavily. With trembling hands she pushes the covers to the side and throws her legs over the edge of the bed. She holds her head in her hands, elbows pressed against thighs, small sobs escaping her lips.

She gets up and walks towards the kitchen, desperately needing something to numb the pain. She grabs the bottle of Cabernet and doesn't bother to search for a glass.

Sharon brings the bottle to her lips and takes a few gulps while turning around and walking towards her study. She opens the top drawer of her desk, searching for something. She pulls out the drawer and empties its content on the floor. A little pink photo album grabs her attention. She takes it, her hands starting to shake again, and goes to the living room. She slowly places the half empty bottle on the coffee table and looks at the album. "Baby's first year". Sharon opens it and looks at the first photo.

A younger Sharon Raydor, wearing a hospital gown, smiles widely at the fragile newborn fisting her hair.

Sharon smiles. "You always had a thing for my hair. You used to play with it all the time." she remembers and turns the page.

The next photo shows the same baby, now a bit older, standing between two stuffed toys : a Cookie Monster and a pink teddy bear. A small chuckle escapes her lips. She remembers the day she bought those toys. Her other two children wanted to get their "new baby sister" a toy, but Lizzie wanted something pink and Ricky something blue. They kept arguing the entire time, neither one giving up, so Sharon had to buy two toys.

Sharon had never felt so lonely in her entire life. There were days like this one when she needs someone to talk to, she needs someone to hold her and tell her everything is going to be alright.

She misses her kids and wishes they would come to visit more often.

She misses Rusty. She didn't even realize how much, until today.

He was transferred to the Witness Protection Program and was sent away, no one being allowed to visit him, not even her. She loved Rusty like he was one of her own and now she felt like she had lost yet another child.

Sharon gulps the rest of the wine down, remembering how everything actually happened.

"I'll find you someday. I promise." she whispers before drifting off to what she hopes will be a dreamless sleep.

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**I know it is kinda short, but the next chapters will *hopefully* be longer :) Leave a review? Please? :D**


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